If you saw The Lego Movie, you know that it featured an entire sitcom devoted to finding the right pants – cue the laugh track! My story isn’t so much funny as it is frustrating.
This is the saga of a pair of black, stretchy, shapeless, completely indestructible pants. I purchased these pants in the early 1990’s – yes, almost 25 years ago – at the height of one of my weight gain peaks. I thought that these pants would help me bridge the wide range of sizes I was shifting through as my weight yoyoed up and down. These pants were never meant to last more than a few months. The plan was to lose weight, ditch the fat pants and buy a pair of skinny jeans. Little did I know that these mild mannered, seemingly harmless pants were made from an unEarthly synthetic type of kryptonite that could not be destroyed no matter how much I tried. Being the frugal kind of gal that I am, I couldn’t just get rid of them or even donate them if they were still useful. I kept them and I kept wearing them no matter what weight I happened to be. Over the years, I grew to loathe these pants. They became a symbol of my weakness, my failure, my inability to control my weight. They became my polyester prison.
This week, I made a break through. I actually went S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G. As you read in one of my previous posts, I find shopping uncomfortable but I find wearing the bottom half of a 1970’s pantsuit even more uncomfortable. Okay, I admit it. I shopped online at Women Within but it still counts. Women Within have a great selection of plus size jeans for women of all sizes including tall and petite. I bought four pairs of earth-toned jeans that fit me perfectly at the size that I am now. I say that because I have actually purchased clothes in a size that I wished I wore thinking that seeing a great pair of jeans hanging on my closet door day after day would motivate me to lose weight so that I could fit into them. It didn’t and they are packed away in a box somewhere – never worn and very out of style. Looking at myself in the mirror wearing these great new pants makes me feel good about myself and about my choices.
What about the indestructible black pants? They live on but they no longer take center stage in my wardrobe. I cut off some of the length and narrowed the pants legs to make them into yoga pants. Namaste.